Saturday, December 31, 2011

San Pedro, California...

...has gone to shit. Literally. Crap everywhere.
Dog; Cat; Bird; and yes, even Homo Sapiens
Oh, and don't forget the dopers.
Please dear Jesus, do not forget to mention the dopers;
And ceritfied Felons;
Hot damn those Felons got swagger.
Kiddie-rapers too;
Attempted murderers;
we shunt forget the ubiquitous neighborhood drunk;
two tanked lovers;
and a partridge and a pear tree...

-- All residing on my block.
-- All stutter-stepping, drunk as skunks, emboldened.
And illiterate kids, smoking weed in the canyons, setting refuse ablaze behind my house.
It's as if the lone neighbor and I are besieged by a crumbling society on the edge of martial law.
The vampires creeping in, waiting for eternal dark.
A local tweaker parked his jalopy in the driveway today -- blocked the neighbor in.
So I went down, confrontation in my sights. 'Twas near midnight, but no avail.
Nobody answered.
Nobody gave a good goddamn.
Figure he and the tribe were in the nod, enjoying Big H.
Anyways, there's trouble brewing.
I can smell it.
Feel it.

Rumblings of Nasiriyah -- just before we rolled in, the sky gray and quiet.
Wet.
Men, Women, Children, peeking from windows -- confused, scared, just wanting it to go away.
"Go away...go away...go away" (sotto voce).

Folks who wax poetically about good ole' Pedro, might want to visit good ole' Pedro once in a while.
Just on a random day.
Alone.
Alone on the many streets below Western Ave, where the peasants and prisoners spread out like water on litmus paper -- metastasizing rapidly, leaving broken windows, abandoned cars, semen-filled magnums ripped off with wanton abandon -- pooches nearly noshing the aforementioned 'nad nectar.
it's an eerie sight, dear readers.
as if the men, women, children are peeking, lurking behind computers screens, hoping to dear God,
the Outside doesn't come Inside
@ least not now.
@ least not yet.
I know there's better...
people;
places;
faces;
and pooches (the San Pedro pit bulls -- chained and frothing against chain-linked fences. Blue-eyed beasts with vacant eyes -- a bizarre mirror -- sociopathic owners bestowing prison pathos to their beloved curs and kids).
But I know...I have visited. There's still good country out there.
America.
long unbroken vistas -- a house there, horse corral here, shooting range snugged up against a granite mountain.
-- smiling and humble.

But not here -- no, no, no, not California.
Give it to Calderon, I say.
We're just visiting Sir, like most Angelinos.
Waiting, saving, and hoping for the best.

Nevertheless, I'll state it now -- get it documented and such.
one of us will be hurt.
December 31, 2011
0121.
Not sure who, but one of us.
me, her, the pooches.
LAPD Harbor Division knows about the stolen USMC flag.
the petty crime and disjointed derelicts.
tettering on the edge, waiting for opportunity.

"Such a shame," the Police Officer said. "People will steal anything nowadays."
"Yes," I said. "They will."
There was a slight pause, an exhale.
And I hung up.


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Christmas 2011

Well it's been an interesting one for sure. Started off with a bang, reinforcing my belief San Pedro, CA has moved on to harder drugs -- the good old days of drive-by eggings and TP tapestry evolving -- replaced by the town drunk pissing on my trash can, local degenerates thieving a Marine Corps flag off my porch, and the ever-present police chopper alighting the neighborhood, searching for car-jackers, suspected hit men, and you know, you're run of the mill Los Angelino. The flag was never returned. The police couldn't give two shits. And I suppose the ghetto bird simply reacts to it's environment.

Alrighty, it's SEO blogs/military financial advice time. New years a' coming...and if you're one of the punk who stole my flag...

they drew first blood...

Annika on the catwalk

starbucks crew @ the compound -- they're special like that...

Xmas time w/the pups

Monday, December 19, 2011

the MILITARY WALLET

well, i've been lucky enough to recently join the team over @ the Military Wallet.
great website with a ton of valuable info for members of the Armed Forces.
check it out!
here's the first article of a ten part series i'll be scribing.
take a gander:





Wednesday, December 14, 2011

In Over Your Head? Bankruptcy Options for Service Members

let us hope it never comes to this.
but just in case, read my new one from Military Banking Rates.


Bankruptcy

same old song

not sure what it is, but i've urge.
it's more like a compulsion.
not like one of those -- wash my hands 346 times a day, pull out my eyelashes on the regular, or any of that boring crap.
and i can't really explain it, perhaps it deals with my time in the desert.
those years.
nights, days, watching a red, red sunrise and the cold morning steaming up, drying the sand, and lizards sunning and tortoise roaming.
i dunno.
but i can remember Kuwati morns -- all that sand and desolation.
straight outa Lawrence of Arabia.
but that's not really the desert i dig.
i like that California/Arizona/New Mexico desert.
the Salton Sea and Niland.
outskirts of the Grand Canyon and Albuquerque.
with the wayward retirees and lanky dogs on porches.
wide, way open spaces alone.
mountain ranges with hidden springs, cattails and a few errant tires.
shotgun shells cracking in the sun.
bones of some lost goat or sheep, white with giant warrior ants on patrol.
strange how most people call that hell.
most everyone i know.
you gotta be careful out there -- sexual sadists and pedo's like the anonymity.
but mostly old folks, heating up their bones.
although you'll run into a few Vets -- ancient with nothing to prove, content in the warm sun, a pistol on their hip, pooch on porch, and a baked chicken dinner.
strange world, lots of nooks and crannies.
the good ole desert...




Friday, December 2, 2011

A janky Christmas

With a wee bit o' Dios de Muerta.
But we sure make it work.


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

TAP

care of pissedoff christoff -- the military's Transition Assistance Program aka TAP.
lotsa new bennies for the guys and gals in uniform.
check it out:




putting things in perspective

from NASA, up in the heavens, where things seems to matter very little in the big picture.
but in the moment, that's where it does...


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

pumpkin go BOOM!

just a little preview of halloween, www.guns.com, style.
and yes, you're correct to denote i look a tad...douchey.
we all have our days in the Barstow desert, que no?
stay tuned for an article!


left to right: 8mm; 5.56; .45ACP; 12 gauge slug

why yes, i do look rather douchy



Thursday, October 20, 2011

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

beyond the battlefield

so i've been reading these articles on the huffingtonpost.com -- "beyond the battlefield."
little tales of severely wounded Veterans.
and i'm talking SEVERELY wounded Veterans.
it's a bit sad.
a bit inspiring.
a bit ugly.
and a big reality-check.
-- goddamn, i was lucky...
readers leave comments, running the gamut from "god bless these heroes," to "well, they signed up, what did they expect?"
gives me some insight to the human condition.
to how this country works.
and when it comes down to it, as a warrior -- as a Veteran, it's best to get over this shit ASAP.unfortunate, but true.
grab as much VA disability as possible.
get your education on the government's dime.
never expect a fucking thing from your fellow citizen without paying for it.
because there's very little altruism out there.
someone's always selling something -- politics, t-shirts, fancy bracelets...
aside from your fellow Veteran, it's safe to say, one must remain skeptical at all times.
be aware of agendas.
because once these wars are over, you'll be forgotten.
and in ten years from now, you'll be a punch-line to some joke.

anyways, god bless these wounded warriors.
i know it's gotta be hard.
hope they find peace in this fucked up world, maybe even some happiness...



Saturday, October 15, 2011

U.S. deaths in drone strike due to miscommunication, report says

something that pisses me off.
a goddamn "unmanned" drone kills a Marine and Navy Corpsman.
"unmanned," my ass.
but what's worse, the Marine killed was on his fourth tour.
FOURTH.
now, i'm all about demonizing these Wall Street shysters -- but there's something intrinsically wrong with a country, when you've got troopers serving four tours in a shit stew war-zone,
and you've kids the same age (he was 26) sitting on Wall Street bitching about their college loans, dressed in teddy-bear get-ups, getting more nationwide attention/adoration.
this country...huh.
i'm over it.




(K.I.A. Marine Staff Sgt. Jeremy Smith)





Tuesday, October 11, 2011

brisk night in the village

English Village, that is.
@ Loyola Marymount University.
Gloria Calderon Kellett, Mike Vukadinovich, Tyler McClain, and I, spoke to the undergrad populace.
mostly about graduate school and living/working as a playwright/screenwriter in the "real world."
Kelly Younger moderated.
tried my best not to look pissed off. (the Corps hasn't hit the road just yet)
and it went pretty well.
managed to have a few laughs, met some interesting folks, and saw some old comrades including Linda Bannister -- who introduced me to live theatre/playwrighting.
had Annika by my side...looking quite sexy.
so it was a good night.


(my excited face)

(moderator and professor Kelly Younger)

(Kelly, who made it happen)

(bright-eyed English/Theatre majors filtering in)

(and the panel: me; Tyler; Mike; Gloria)

(the crowd)

(gracious hosts and soon-to-be graduates)


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Playwrights at Play, Oct. 10

come see me and fellow dramatists @ Loyola Marymount University, next Monday, October 10th -- around 7pm. i'll give a little talk about my career, the future, and my work.
should be fun.

*many thanks to Kelly Younger and Gianluca Keeler for making it happen *




Monday, September 26, 2011

@ the Norton-Simon Museum

i saw this, and it spoke to me.
well not really, but i liked it.
guess things never really change...


Horace Vernet
1818
Soldier on the Field of Battle (Waterloo)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Sunday, July 31, 2011

GI BILL 2.0

so i've been researching financial issues pertinent to the military/Veterans for a recent gig i was hired on for. and i'm just freaking floored -- no, freaking flabbergasted, @ all the bennies returning trigger-pullers are granted.
just amazing.
and duly earned.
if you're a Vet thinking about nerding out @ a local public university -- DO IT.
check it out:



Thursday, July 28, 2011

on a side note: TSA buffoonery

despite being roused by a cancerous old crone and an obese jerry-curl-clad thug in uniform, during my SECOND full body scan last week, i managed not to be thrown in jail.
go figure...
but if you're in the TSA, please consider suicide.

God bless,
Christoff



Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Chi-town: business y pleasure

gigged up in Chicago (thanks to OITB alum Clint Van Winkle) researching a genuine WWII hero named Mario "Motts" Tonelli (details to come). fortunately i was able to amble about and take in the sights. despite the hellish heat the first day, Chicago proved to be a great place. beautiful city abound with art and the deep dish. here's an excerpt from my journal.

in chicago in july. hot. damn hot and steaming. need a rag to swab up the sweat dripping off my forehead. feel like my old man. genetics, go figure. "get botox," someone said. stops the sweat. and i just might because i'm current;y sitting inside Descartes Coffee House on michigan ave. and it's cold, cold inside but the salty excretions are spicing up my latte. not good. nevertheless i'm hitting up the Chicago Art Institute in a few. Monet's; Picasso's; Hopper's; and John Singer Sargent's. and i'm not ashamed to say i still dig the Impressionists, either. but i can clearly remember being a pissed off Marine back in the early days and dreaming of seeing these masterpieces in person. a kinda of personal promise. and now...holy shit, i found a way. on business at that. from what i can remember they got Edward Hopper's "Nighthawks," that famous noir piece set @ a corner diner. skeletal fry cook, alluring redhead, fedora festooned fellow. matter of fact, as i write this, the synapsis in my brain housing group have reconnected and i clearly recollect how "Nighthawks," influenced this dumb kid in 2001. so there's the redhead. she's with the fellow. they're sitting at the counter, ordering. a redhead. and in 2001 i found myself strapped to the tattooist's chair getting a redheaded pinup gal on my forearm. lacking class, i know, but whaddya gonna do -- i was a dumb kid and it was 2001.

some pix to whet your whistle. captions coming soon.